Monday, October 31, 2005

The Simpsons

The Simpsons

Bill had a family emergency and will not be able to attend the Halloween festivities at das Bit und Spur this evening. He was going as Homer Simpson, so I dedcided to post this photo of him and Marge taken a fews days ago. He looks more like Bruce Willis to me.

Be safe out dare ya'll.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Happy Halloween!

Buckethead and his posse last Halloween

This sumptuous dish was his date
How's he gonna top last year's fun?
I'll make sure to keep ya'll posted.

The Bagwhan's college football pick o' the week

From his holiness this Friday----

blowout in the desert
ARIZONA STATE -16.5 over washington
post it!

Take it to the bank folks!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Georgia vs. Florida

According to Las Vegas odds makers Florida is favored by 4 over Georgia in this eagerly anticipated annual game played in the, supposedly, neutral city of Jacksonville, at the famed and storied Gator Bowl. It has long been known as the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party and draws fans and partiers from all over the deep south to enjoy this gladitorial spectacle in the balmy skeeter-swatting redneck sun. Should be a humdinger of a game, on CBS at 1:30 pm Mountain time.

The Gators mascot is named Albert after the alligator who starred in the comic strip Pogo. This was a very popular syndicated newspaper strip by Walt Kelly that appealed mainly to adults and took place in the Okefenokee Swamp. Pogo was a possum who was a philosophic sort. His most famous quote is "We have met the enemy and he is us." My favorite's are: "We are surrounded by insurmountable opportunity." and "Don't take life so serious - it ain't nohow permanent."

I think it's pretty cool that Walt's creation has been honored by the Gators for posterity. Now let's go kick some gator butt you junkyard dawgs! YEEEE-HAWWWW!

Original Albert the Alligator

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The earth continues to rumble for evil

Onward march the Christian soldiers

Six days from the last post about earth thunder emanating from the Nevada desert, I'm sad to report that it continues unabated. The ground and air shook so violently, earlier this morning, that I wondered if they had unleashed something so terrible that it maybe even frightened them. No chance of that when you're dealing with mad scientists employed by the Beast. The sky's the limit on horror with that guy.

The U.S. government has also reached the 2000 dead soldier milestone, to go along with the 45,000 permanently injured in frontline combat. Then there are all of the dead civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan, which number, at least, in the tens of thousands, with many thousands more seriously wounded and/or homeless from the destruction of their dwelling by the U.S. military. Fallujah, Iraq, about the size of Cincinnati, was leveled to the ground in order to root out, so called insurgents. They have done much the same in many other parts of their theater of operations, with intense human suffering being the most profound result of their efforts.

This whole sordid mess is about to spill over into Iran and Syria, as the dry alcoholic messianic leader prepares to meet the fate history has arranged for him. As he stares into the yawning abyss, I'm rather inclined to think he intends to drag us all right down there with him. Misery loves company and since we're paying for it, we might as well as share in the fruits of OUR labor.

The blood is on all of our hands.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Sweaty Elvis caption contest

Senor Sweaty

For those of you uninitiated in the charms of Sweaty Elvis-----be grateful. Nonetheless you should have no trouble coming up with a good caption. I'm expecting Devastatin' Dave to forward this to the appropriate parties for a more comprehensive reply to this contest.

Here's mine "Shay babee, whatsh happinin'?"

The Bagwhan goes 4-0!

The Bagwhan levitates among his friends
With the New Mexico pick from last week the Bagwhan is now 4-0! Congratulations and we look forward to forthcoming predictions supplied to this blogsite. Roll Tide!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Shakespeare and Hurricane Wilma

A desert island

This photograph of a man stranded atop his SUV in Key West struck a nerve. With his laptop, cell phone and backpack, he seemed so numb to the reality of his situation, so unknowing in the ways of simple survival.

Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet?
We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it
----B. Dylan

Postmodern man is becoming an alien on his own planet, which all reminded me of the Bard:

But man, proud man,
Drest in a little brief authority,
Most ignorant of what he's most assured,
His glassy essence, like an angry ape,
Plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven
As make the angels weep.

'Bout sums it up for me. We ain't changed much.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Barely escaped from Arkansas

2005 Georgia Homecoming Queen & her court
The homecoming win over Arkansas was close and costly, due to the loss of Georgia's star quarterback D.J. Shockley for at least the Florida game next week, which now looms extremely large for the Dawgs and should prove what they're made of if they win. Then there's Auburn after that.......oh well, bring on the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune!
A hard fought battle with the Hogs between the hedges.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Fiery sky Friday night

Utah has the best sunsets
The evening sunset was a fiery display of total indifference to the concept of fate and destiny. A chance gathering of moments, molecules and light signifying, for only a moment, more than I could ever express. October is one bittersweet month all right.

The Bagwhan squeaks one out

Cracked open the Bagwhan fortune cookie and inside the message read:

new mexico lobos
@ san diego state
fingers crossed

So it has been predicted on this Friday, of what I hope will be a popular weekly feature.

NM has a cool mascot named Louie Lobo, who dates from the mid-50's.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

More turbulence from Nevada

Radar image of southern UT, northern AZ, eastern NV

Today was the strongest yet for the rumbling waves of air and ground motion that literally shook the house coming from the west. As you can see on the above radar map there is a glowing yellow disturbance drifting eastward over Cedar Valley, followed by five linear streaks of very high intensity molecular motion, from God only knows what.

The current weather conditions here are clear star filled skies, so whatever is showing up on the map is drifting eastward from the test sites. Who the hell knows what they're doing out there, but I do know that it violates every environmental law they ever enacted for their sheep-like subjects to follow. Baaah!

It's really starting to feel like the true spirit of evil every time the ground and air break in sonic waves from the west across my being. Remember now it's only a matter of weeks from when they conduct these deep bomb tests to a full scale invasion, based on my previous experience with these rumblings. This evil monster must be stopped!

Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues!
- Revelation 18:4

Supporting independence movements

Amidst all the gloom about a major U.S. instigated war with Iran and Syria looming on the horizon we still need to keep pushing for secessionist movements within the United States as much as possible. We need to break apart this super-sized monster that uses the wealth of it's 50 slaves to wage unholy war on innocent civilians and run roughshod over the individual liberty of all that it supposedly governs.

The Soviet Union was broken apart and so should the United States. Texas ain't gonna bomb Iran, because Dallas is still the number one TV show in all of Persia. There are many Iranian men who root for the Cowboys, because they are considered a classy American sports team. Most young people in Iran adore American culture, much to the consternation of the mullahs who rule them. Send 'em all ten gallon hats and they'll be friends for life.

The following link made my heart glad to see so many independence movements alive and thriving:

Included are secessionist groups from California (Free the Bear and Move On California), Hawaii, Wales, Texas, Vermont, Alaska, Nevada, Tibet and Ulster. It is our only chance to eventually break the domination of Big Brother by deconstructing him down to nothing. The whole hideous edifice must come tumbling down, just like the statues of Lenin throughout the U.S.S.R. some 15 short years ago. Let's all keep thinking locally and looking to trade globally.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

What a great continent to live on

I feel very blessed to have been able to travel so extensively in this country over the years, and to have gotten out and discovered the little known places as well as delight in the famous and spectacular sights of mass pilgrimage known to millions. I'm proud to call myself an American geographer, 'cause this is the best damn landmass on the planet if you ask me.

Ours was once a grand republic, but is now only a bankrupt empire. Let's hope that the things which make each individual place on the map interesting and unique will persist as a strength that can be utilized during the transition into a new voluntary confederation of smaller and locally derived political entities continent wide.

Tourism is a clean and renewable industry so let's promote more of it here at home, whenever we can. Besides we're a real bargain around the world with such a sinking dollar.

Another shameless plug for my industry, which is one of the few the U.S. has a trade surplus in.

New York City



Santa Monica

The Beast Stirs Again

The deep silence of the Nevada desert.
Those familiar with my previous email postings (before this blogsite existed) about the deep rumblings I can feel in the earth emanating from the Nevada desert to my west, out on the test ranges, will be interested to know that there has been renewed activity over the past few days.

As we have discussed in the past, this type of military earth thunder usually precedes by three to four weeks renewed war making by the Beast. It has been awhile since the Creature has stirred, but the peaceful silence of the desert again reverberates with the swollen hunger pangs of the war monster's ever growling stomach. The belly of the Beast lusts for new victims.

The flatulence from this creature could fill universes.

God knows but I suspect Count Cheney and his wooden dummy W are gonna attack ancient Persia and Assyria sometime before Christmas. They are already carrying out raids along the Iraqi border with Syria, and are today making incursions onto their sovereign territory as I write. The current administration has floated the idea of such an attack in public utterances, and if carried out, could be 'bout where the American Empire takes it's final and inevitable plunge into oblivion. Good riddance!

Long live the Chinese! Shanghai is now the financial capital of the world. Long live Wal-Mart! Long live Allah and his devoted prophets and soldiers for helping to defeat the criminal Beast. Viva Mexico! Viva Texas! Viva California! Viva Espanol! No mas gringos! I'm down with green tea and fish tacos, ain't jew? It's time to learn Chinese, Spanish and Korean if you want to remain useful to this new society and yourself.

What I really want to know is when do we get to watch them chase Count Cheney, with flaming torches, to the top of the castle stairs? "How 'bout a little fire W?"
Al Qaeda flaming torch vampire SWAT team.

A wet pattern over the southwestern corner

A perfect comma shaped low intrudes onto my territory.
The overall weather patterns, according to meteorologists, seem to indicate a warmer and wetter winter season possibly on the horizon for my neck of the woods. One can only hope, since we don't really have a good grasp on this predicting business, and I seriously doubt we ever will, but ending a seven-year drought cycle would be a nice Christmas gift for all of us in this desert region. Makes it easier to grow all that there Romain lettuce you're consuming in Connecticut and Missouri in December, as well as keeping all those fabulous fountains in Vegas flowing. We got us a great little civilization out here, we does!
The steady rain falling today is finally tamping down the pollen and dust which has plagued us allergy sufferers since the spring. Hack-hack-sneeze!
Fleance hates the rain.
In late November I'll be in Las Vegas for a week (11/26 - 12/03) doing research and development work and staying in a condo at the south end of the Strip. Vegas is a great place to Christmas shop-----so come on down and set for a spell. We'll have Thai food and get drunk watching college football. I'm still a dumb ol' American guy last time I checked.

Monday, October 17, 2005

The Bagwhan

The Bagwhan consults with his spiritual advisors.
Darrell (the Bagwhan) was an amazing 15-4 this past weekend, which makes me want to start a Friday feature on my blogsite, the Pick o' the Week from the Bagwhan.

So are you up for it great man? One game a week?

We await further communications from your holiness.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

College football is the best

The third weekend of October finds me free for a whole Saturday, so I can enjoy one of America's best entertainment products----college football. First it was Alabama over Ole Miss (13-10 ) on a game winning field goal as the clock ran out. Next up it was LSU defeating Florida (21-17) in a tight defensive squeaker, followed by Oregon State over California (23-20) and then the super exciting finish of Southern California beating Notre Dame (34-31) on the last play of the game in South Bend, after clearing the field of Irish fans who thought the clock had expired on the previous play and were ready to celebrate a victory over their hated rival.

Now excuse me while I watch the night games, which includes Utah vs. San Diego State and Georgia vs. Vanderbilt, and bake pies for some of ya'll.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Georgia vs. Vanderbilt

Vanderbilt mascot "Mr. Commodore" won the title of Mascot Champion at the Cheer and Dance North American Collegiate Championship, held February 12, 2005 in New Orleans.

I've had an eerie tingly feeling of trepidation about this upcoming game in Nashville for a while now. For some strange reason I've had a weird hunch that the lowly Commodores are gonna pull something out of the bag on the Dawgs, and at the very least, cover the spread. Maybe win.

It's Homecoming Week for Vandy, who are (4-2) and stand a decent chance of making a game of it. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I get laughed at over this later.

They easily have the most boring mascot in the entire Southeastern Conference.

Hot Pepper Report for Darrell


My local pepper harvest, some of which is earmarked for East Coast consumption, is one of the most bounteous in memory. Grateful thanks to Wilma, Darren, Donna, Lori, Eviva, the Bit & Spur and Wal-Mart for the steady supply of ripe and super hot chile peppers.

It's a great world most of the time, especially when we can trade freely and voluntarily amongst ourselves without the restraining hand of Big Brother limiting our choices and channeling our free will away from taking independent action, towards the ultimate goal of obedient acquiescence. Get in that school bus NOW kid!

Growing food is a form of liberty.

P.S. Darrell says take Air Force over UNLV. Money in the bank!

Monday, October 10, 2005

God's Song

Balakot, Pakistan leveled

A recent article by the always excellent Justin Raimondo, got me to thinking about the dry alcoholic who's running the U.S.A.'s war machine and his delusions about religious purpose being fulfilled through his war making. I quote from the piece:

George W. Bush was under orders from God to invade Iraq. That's what he told the Palestinians, according to Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas, who describes what transpired during his first meeting with the American president in June 2003. According to Abbas, Bush told the Palestinian leaders:

"God told me to strike at al-Qaeda and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If you help me I will act, and if not, the elections will come and I will have to focus on them." Unlike your typical secular liberal, I am not one to snark at any mention of a divine entity, be it Jehovah or Phoebus Apollo. Instead, I wonder: how does Bush know the voice he's hearing is God's? What if it's the Devil's?

Which all reminded me of a Randy Newman song from my youth which describes perfectly the hubris inherent in trying to interpret the will of any God, deity or invisible power of the air. What's an earthquake and a few savage wars followed by withering plagues and fiery volcanoes to a God? To think that He'd care to intervene or ask any of us to be an instrument of His will in our petty sordid affairs is so silly as to be laughable. Or so it would seem. The song goes like this:

Cain slew Abel, Seth knew not why
For if the children of Israel were to multiply
Why must any of the children die?
So he asked the Lord
And the Lord said:

Man means nothing, he means less to me
Than the lowliest cactus flower
Or the humblest Yucca tree
He chases round this desert
'Cause he thinks that's where I'll be
That's why I love mankind

I recoil in horror from the foulness of thee
From the squalor and the filth and the misery
How we laugh up here in heaven at the prayers you offer me
That's why I love mankind

The Christians and the Jews were having a jamboree
The Buddhists and the Hindus joined on satellite TV
They picked their four greatest priests
And they began to speak
They said, "Lord, a plague is on the world
Lord, no man is free
The temples that we built to you
Have tumbled into the sea
Lord, if you won't take care of us
Won't you please, please let us be?"
And the Lord said
And the Lord said

I burn down your cities-how blind you must be
I take from you your children and you say how blessed are we
You all must be crazy to put your faith in me
That's why I love mankind
You really need me
That's why I love mankind

-----God's Song by Randy Newman (1972)

Aerial view of Balakot

Pepper harvest winds down in southern Utah

Did some harvesting at Wilma's on Sunday, after the first hard frost earlier in the week. At this point in the season there are usually plenty of green peppers that must be separated from the ripe ones and placed in sunny southern windowsills for further ripening. The mature peppers will be chopped and sun dried immediately.

I also procured a large haul of basil that has been laboriously plucked and placed on elevated screens for drying. My home smells like a basil scented Airwick Solid.

Saw some local peaches at the Springdale Fruit Company da other day. We may yet have some pie fixin's here after all. A future blog no doubt.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Fall means barbecue smoke in Quichapa

Boston Butt pork roast grilled with fresh chiles and a beef tri-tip coated with Larry's secret steak rub.

Fall is when grilling is best, the smoke lingering and loitering in the colder air a little longer than in summer, giving the whole neighborhood the fragrant smell of southern woodlands and right tasty critter flesh. It's a time to sip your beer more slowly and blast the stereo outside with Dean Martin tunes followed by Merle Haggard and then maybe some Death Cube K, for when it gets dark and the bats commence to flapping at dusk.

Today I savored Georgia's 27-7 victory over Tennessee immensely and celebrated heavily for my unefeated squad now sitting atop the SEC East. Yeeeee-haw!

Tennessee's Josh Briscoe fumbles after a big hit in the second half by Georgia's Tra Battle (25) and Danny Verdun.

How 'bout them Dawgs?!!! They are 5-0 and will be ranked #3 on Monday morning. Not a bad start for a national championship run, huh?

After the Rose Bowl game in Pasadena I'm buying everyone dinner at the Reel Inn in Malibu. Meet you there at about 9:30 pm----and in case you forgot, it's at 18661 PCH just past Topanga Canyon Blvd. We'll have fried catfish, corn fritters and slaw! Yee-haw!

By the way, we sure can whip up some delicious vittles out here in Quichapa, yes we does.

Split whole chicken, marinated & chile rubbed and grilled over apple wood. Yum-yum! The sides were spectacular too.

The one libertarian in Congress speaks out

Before the US House of Representatives, October 7, 2005 by Congressman Ron Paul

Supporters of the war in Iraq, as well as some non-supporters, warn of the dangers if we leave. But isn’t it quite possible that these dangers are simply a consequence of having gone into Iraq in the first place, rather than a consequence of leaving? Isn’t it possible that staying only makes the situation worse? If chaos results after our departure, it’s because we occupied Iraq, not because we left.

The original reasons for our pre-emptive strike are long forgotten, having been based on false assumptions. The justification given now is that we must persist in this war or else dishonor those who already have died or been wounded. We’re also told civil strife likely will engulf all of Iraq.

But what is the logic of perpetuating a flawed policy where more Americans die just because others have suffered? More Americans deaths cannot possibly help those who already have been injured or killed. Civil strife, if not civil war, already exists in Iraq – and despite the infighting, all factions oppose our occupation.

The insistence on using our military to occupy and run Iraq provides convincing evidence to our detractors inside and outside Iraq that we have no intention of leaving. Building permanent military bases and a huge embassy confirms these fears.

We deny the importance of oil and Israel’s influence on our policy, yet we fail to convince the Arab/Muslim world that our intentions are purely humanitarian.
In truth, our determined presence in Iraq actually increases the odds of regional chaos, inciting Iran and Syria while aiding Osama bin Laden in his recruiting efforts. Leaving Iraq would do the opposite – though not without some dangers that rightfully should be blamed on our unwise invasion rather than our exit.

Many experts believe bin Laden welcomed our invasion and occupation of two Muslim countries. It bolsters his claim that the U.S. intended to occupy and control the Middle East all along. This has galvanized radical Muslim fundamentalists against us. Osama bin Laden’s campaign surely would suffer if we left.

We should remember that losing a war to China over control of North Korea ultimately did not enhance communism in China, as she now has accepted many capitalist principles. In fact, China today outproduces us in many ways – as reflected by our negative trade balance with her.

We lost a war in Vietnam, and the domino theory that communism would spread throughout southeast Asia was proven wrong. Today, Vietnam accepts American investment dollars and technology. We maintain a trade relationship with Vietnam that the war never achieved.

We contained the USSR and her thousands of nuclear warheads without military confrontation, leading to the collapse and disintegration of a powerful Soviet empire. Today we trade with Russia and her neighbors, as the market economy spreads throughout the world without the use of arms.

We should heed the words of Ronald Reagan about his experience with a needless and mistaken military occupation of Lebanon. Sending troops into Lebanon seemed like a good idea in 1983, but in 1990 President Reagan said this in his memoirs: “…we did not appreciate fully enough the depth of the hatred and complexity of the problems that made the Middle East such a jungle…In the weeks immediately after the bombing, I believed the last thing we should do was turn tail and leave…yet, the irrationality of Middle Eastern politics forced us to rethink our policy there.”

During the occupation of Lebanon by American, French, and Israeli troops between 1982 and 1986, there were 41 suicide terrorist attacks in that country. One horrific attack killed 241 U.S. Marines. Yet once these foreign troops were removed, the suicide attacks literally stopped. Today we should once again rethink our policy in this region.

It’s amazing what ending military intervention in the affairs of others can achieve. Setting an example of how a free market economy works does wonders.

We should have confidence in how well freedom works, rather than relying on blind faith in the use of military force to spread our message. Setting an example and using persuasion is always superior to military force in showing how others might live. Force and war are tools of authoritarians; they are never tools of champions of liberty and justice. Force and war inevitably lead to dangerous unintended consequences.

Dr. Ron Paul is a Republican member of Congress from Texas.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Georgia vs. Tennessee

UGA the Fifth is the current mascot for the University of Georgia Bulldogs football team.

There aren't many things in life that are bigger and better than the Georgia-Tennessee game, 'ceptin' maybe the Georgia-Florida match-up later this here month. Darrell wrote me to say this game was where the boys would show if they was made of sumpfin'. He's right. Lets go boys!

How do you explain the exquisite joy and regional pride found in SEC (Southeastern Conference) football to the non-initiated? The only persons in my immediate area who share this particular mania are Jim and Will Starling-----both rabid Auburn fans. Go Tigers! Roll Tide! How 'bout them dawgs?!!! See ya'll at the Rose Bowl.

Legendary coach Pop Warner's Bulldogs went undefeated for the first time in 1896.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Mormon Candy Grab Game

The local paper here in southern Utah had a whole section of Friday's edition devoted to the Latter Day Saints General Conference, held annually in Salt Lake City. This boring charade of forced piety dominates the airwaves of the Beehive State for two whole days of droning homilies and starchy overwrought reverence peppered with the same shopworn expressions and familiar phrases that church leadership has used for over 150 years now. The flowery sentiment and bold sense of missionary purpose infused into an LDS conference is, to me, a smarmy melding of the glib sunshine and hokey warmth of a Hallmark greeting card with the cloying pseudo-heavenly language of the King James Bible and, its direct imitator, the hocus-pocus thunder and lightning prose of Joseph Smith's Book of Mormon. Ward Cleaver meets Moses at the mall.

One of the features I found most interesting in this special section of the Daily Spectrum was a game for the Mormon children called Conference Candy Grab. These are the instructions:

Try playing Conference Candy Grab with your children while listening to General Conference

Kids, when you hear any of the words listed on the Candy Grab card spoken during conference, cross out that word. When you have X-ed out a line horizontally, vertically or diagonally, you win!

Now grab that candy for JAY-ZUSS cheerun'!!! Oh lard----kin I git a witness?

A friend in Salt Lake City, who knows the person who places the liquor orders for the state run alcohol beverage outlets, said they always have a huge spike in the sale of very high end vodkas in SLC during the LDS conference. The kind of vodka no one can smell on your breath.

Whatever gets you through I guess, Candy Grab or vodka, it's all about latching on to eternal salvation dudes. BURP! Easy & quick.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Praise for the Persians

Let's hear it for the Persians. Their intelligent vision and gutsy hutzpah in standing down the big stupid American bully with his overdrawn credit card should be instructive to other countries worldwide. The U.S. is now so weak from war and feebly in debt that the slightest feigned move by the Iranians of an oil embargo could easily plummet this country over the edge.

We need to cooperate and be friendly with other countries if we want to have any chance of economic success in the future. Bullying does not work. I don't blame the Iranians for wanting to have nukes. It seems that the U.S.A. only picks on countries without them. I'm all for the Persians having whatever the hell they personally want, it's their own damn bidness after all.

The American nation is now two and half years into a war that has cost billions, killed and injured thousands, earned the country much hatred and ill will from the rest of the world and helped create the worst world energy crisis ever. Hip-hip-hooray for the mullahs in Iran who say fuck you imperialist pig of nothing. Go and see if your new master China will continue to extend you his hangman's noose of revolving credit so you can continue to bully and kill innocent people in other nations. Your pitiful empire of governmentally dependent publicly schooled ignorant lambs, all ripe and prone for the avenging sword of Allah!

As for the Israeli government, created in the spitting image of it's big brother
America, I hope they know what will happen to them if they carry out a plan to attack Iran. Their Big Bully Brudda is already at seven on the ten count, sprawled on the mat, with the referee's face coming in and out of focus. If they think this punch drunk has been is gonna bail 'em out this time----they is just plumb crazy! Uncle Sam is through as a fighter and last I heard was washing dishes over at the Chinese carry-out!

The judge, he holds a grudge,
He's gonna call on you.
But he's badly built
And he walks on stilts,
Watch out he don't fall on you.

------Bob Dylan