Naomi Fern Wright (of Virgin, Utah) gave me this carrot, which was discovered during prep work at a local restaurant a couple of years ago. At the time I photographed it and stored it tightly in Tupperware in my fridge for awhile, until the fateful day arrived for me to donate it to the six-foot tall jackrabbits that inhabit my desert neighborhood.
I thought this might be a good candidate for a title contest, or even a haiku maybe.
My entry: "Penis de Milo"
DD: forward to Monkey please!
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Oh, chubby carrot
Prostate swollen beyond hope
Death, please come quickly
Why oh why did I offer up this can of disgusting worms?
From JS...
"And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus."--Maynard James Keenan.
Sorry but T-Bone's comments gots to be gone.
What'd T-Bone say, and could it have been worse than that picture of that dude what's been turnt inside out? Lordy, but there's some funny pitchers out there in da wirld. Thank yas, Monkey!
Little carrot man
He's foot-less and fancy free
Swollen orange scrotum
Audie,
Here is T-Bone's haiku...
My Orange Little Bud
Why is the cock ring so tight?
Orange Load, no escape
I'm not lookin'.
MY EYES! MY EYES! Damn you, Monkey! Damn you straight to hell.
Is that a penis or a doggie's chew toy?
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