Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Mutated carrot

Naomi Fern Wright (of Virgin, Utah) gave me this carrot, which was discovered during prep work at a local restaurant a couple of years ago. At the time I photographed it and stored it tightly in Tupperware in my fridge for awhile, until the fateful day arrived for me to donate it to the six-foot tall jackrabbits that inhabit my desert neighborhood.

I thought this might be a good candidate for a title contest, or even a haiku maybe.

My entry: "Penis de Milo"

DD: forward to Monkey please!

19 comments:

Devastatin' Dave said...

Oh, chubby carrot
Prostate swollen beyond hope
Death, please come quickly

Monkey said...

Prolapse is painful
Even for a lil' carrot
Case and point - click here

dmb4 said...

looks like my zoran
with a slightly orange-ish hue
"big fatty's" huge dumps

beamis said...

Why oh why did I offer up this can of disgusting worms?

Devastatin' Dave said...

From JS...

"And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus."--Maynard James Keenan.

beamis said...

Sorry but T-Bone's comments gots to be gone.

Audie said...

What'd T-Bone say, and could it have been worse than that picture of that dude what's been turnt inside out? Lordy, but there's some funny pitchers out there in da wirld. Thank yas, Monkey!

Audie said...

Little carrot man
He's foot-less and fancy free
Swollen orange scrotum

Devastatin' Dave said...

Audie,

Here is T-Bone's haiku...

My Orange Little Bud
Why is the cock ring so tight?
Orange Load, no escape

Monkey said...

T-Bone's lil' orange bud
Has been pumped and pumped and pumped
"NO!" you say? - look here

Devastatin' Dave said...

I'm not lookin'.

Monkey said...

K, I'll go see and let you know if it's really bad this time.
K?

BRB.

Monkey said...

Ok, I'm back.

Well, it's not so bad this time. I think you oughta take a peek.

Monkey said...

Not to blogspam or nothin', but can I please get some decent answers to this simple mf question?

http://beingmonkey.blogspot.com/2006/03/lil-question-for-you.html

Devastatin' Dave said...

MY EYES! MY EYES! Damn you, Monkey! Damn you straight to hell.

Monkey said...

I'm just sayin'.

Monkey said...

The bastards stole T-Bone's pic!
No fear, the back-up is
here!

Audie said...

Is that a penis or a doggie's chew toy?

Monkey said...

Yes.