Wednesday, December 05, 2007

My neighbor's house

I guess I'm just not the suburban type. For some odd reason I simply can't work up much enthusiasm for block parties, soccer moms, endless rows of similarly styled houses sitting atop manicured lawns or otherwise humble abodes overdone in brightly lit holiday ornamentation. Lord knows I've tried to fit in but can now totally understand why I spent 16 years in the windswept wastes of the Great Basin desert. Jackrabbits don't dress up like elves and cactus definitely ain't no fun to decorate.

I guess the final indignity came sometime after dusk this evening when my neighbor's house came alive for the first time this season with a garishly gleaming barrage of holiday lights and decorations which includes a mechanical Santa Claus that emerges every few minutes from an inflated chimney, powered by its own motor with which to levitate him up and down and up and down and up and down until dawn's early light breaks across the swampy stillness.

I sort of feel like Charlie Brown after he sees the Las Vegas style decorations adorning Snoopy's doghouse. My home, in comparison to my neighbors, is like the drooping twig straining under the weight of a single Christmas ornament.

It's definitely going to be a long holiday season for Beamis.

Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!!!!!

Did I mention that my neighbor is a Hindu?


Audie said...

A delightful post. I am glad to hear that, though you can take the beamis out of the Great Basin, you can't take the Great Basin out o' the beamis.

Happy holidays! And, you know, what would a BB gun do to that inflatable Santa, I'm wonderin'?


Karen said...

I am so glad to read, that you are still, in fact, the Dave Rachlis we all know and love. I, for one, am relieved.

Hang in there,

Devastatin' Dave said...


I think it's time for you to revive the Hillbilly/Hasid persona you cultivated in WVA. Can I suggest a Bumpass-Bedouin display in your yard? A couple of live sheep and you dressed as a shepherd boy.

I like Audie's devious BB gun plot, but anything short of a scatter gun whould be underachieving for a Bumpass.