Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Trouble in Paradise

Roadside bombs in Springdale?
The front page of today's local newspaper featured an article about our local police chief here in Zion Canyon, the beloved Kurt Wright, who recently attended an Incident Response to Terrorist Bombings training. It was sponsored by the Dept. of Homeland Security at an Orwellian sounding place called the Energetic Materials Research and Testing Center in New Mexico. The article opens:

SPRINGDALE - If you asked Springdale Police Chief Kurt Wright two months ago what he thought of a backpack left on a shuttle bus bench, Wright would have replied that a tourist went off and left it.

Now, after going through incident response bomb training, Wright said even in quiet Zion Canyon, a backpack left behind should be handled with caution as it could contain a bomb.

So this is what we've come to here in our earthly red rock paradise: bombs posing as backpacks on national park shuttle buses. The very thought of it keeps me gripped with terror. Now even on your peaceful vacation a hostile horde of potential "enemies" may be lurking just beneath the surface of your placid recreation, waiting for the chance to blow you sky high with an IED (Improvised Explosive Device).

It's beginning to sound like a ride on the Zion Canyon shuttle could now be as deadly as a trip through Baghdad or Jerusalem. No wonder all the cops I see are sweating in the 100 degree heat under heavy protective vests. It is amazing to me how such a violent and hostile situation could have spread all the way up into Zion Canyon from the Middle East in no time flat. What new threat will these dastardly "terrorists" cook up next? Put on the Bat-signal!!!

I say thank goodness for Chief Wright's training. I felt so much safer once I put the newspaper down, and took another sip of coffee, reflecting on just how much I want and need their protection to save me from "the enemies" of freedom, justice, truth and democracy.



Uncle Jelly said...

Finally Deputy Fife is justified in reaching for his bullet.

Alright, raghead, in the cell and no funny business! Andy! Where's the key to cell two?

beamis said...

Fer-git it Barn! Aunt Bea done made it a sewing room.